| |
relationships
- breaking up
©
2005 - Written
by Fusion101 Christian Singles Dating & Chat - do not copy
where's
the relationship at?
Are you about to break up off or has it happened already?
If you're about to, do it now. Don't wait one more day to ease their
pain or yours. It's not fair to you or the other person. If the relationship
has already ended, accept it and move on! Learning from your experience.
 can
you still be friends?
It's the worst line ever! But seriously - can you be
friends after a break-up? Well - it depends. If the bond is deep it's
unlikely - it may be too painful. The examples we find of people remaining
friends are those who split for some time - often married couples,
and relationships that involved no sex. If it's someone you trust
not to manipulate your feelings then it may be possible.
You'll need a cool-off period. This avoids things being said that
may be regretted or inhibit a future friendship. When you make contact
use light conversation. Avoid confrontational talk or accusations
such as "why did you break up with me?" In time, you might ask
them to join you in a group but make sure it can't be construed as
a date.
 mend
your broken heart!
There isn't a sure-fire way to mend a broken heart but
there's definitely things you can to do to make it feel lighter and
ready for new love. First, allow yourself to feel what you need to and
take all the time in the world to get over the person. For some people
it may only take a few weeks to move on and others years. The ideas
below are not meant to cover up your loss but rather to help your healing
process so you can move on and enjoy being single for a while!
time to grief
Remember, you just lost a loved one so grieving is
the best thing you can do. Afterwards move on! There are ways to do
this successfully! Things you might want to do include:
.
Throw
away and objects that remind you of your past love.
.
meet
new people.
.
Take
a vacation or day trip with friends.
.
Talk
about your break up and feelings.
.
Enjoy
your new singleness - do something you wouldn't normally do!
.
Exercise.
Take time to look good!
.
Learn
something new.
.
Take
yourself on a date, watch a film or eat your favourite food.
.
Do
things you said you always wanted to do when you were with your partner
but never did.
.
Get
a new look.
the
rebound
Remember to resist finding a new love straight away.
Rebound relationships ease the pain but are doomed from the beginning!
You
don't have the "get to know each other" bit. If you do find someone
of romantic interest take it slow - you'll be glad you did!
getting
back with your past love!
If
something was strong enough to end the relationship the first time,
it's safe to say the same issue will come up again. Be aware of this.
confide
in the right people!
Don't confide in the opposite sex at this vulnerable
time. Men and women can rarely do this without at least one ending up
with romantic feelings.
Avoid
the question -" what's wrong with me".
You'll probably get what sounds like a load of excuses that leave you
feeling insecure - like you've got a problem. The simple fact is that
people subconsciously search for personalities that are on their wavelength
and sometimes it takes a while for people to realise that their personalities
don't fit! If you can figure out incompatibility early on then it's
a lot of heartache saved. But by the same token don't judge a book by
it's cover - some people take time to show their true colours, and not
because they're insecure, there may be a whole load of reasons why they
hold back. Take the time to get to know someone or you'll miss opportunities.
I've lost count of the number of times that I've totally misjudged someone's
character by taking their first words as how they are. True - what's
in the heart comes out of the mouth but not always straight away!
to
love
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything,
and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want
to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one.
Not even an animal. Wrap it carefully with hobbies and luxuries, avoid
all entanglements and keep it safe in the casket of your selfishness.
But in the casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change.
It will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable".
C.S Lewis The Four Loves
|
101
Christian
Singles dating personals & free chat online
Need
to meet some totally cool new friends? Visit Fusion101.com - a cybercool
christian hangout for singles looking for love, dates, romance, advice
and loads more - totally FREE!
visit
Christian
advice.net
Christian
Friendship
Healing
Hearts: Compassionate Writers on breaking up with a partner @ AMAZON
|
